I Choose

Yesterday I worked until I was empty.
To the bones.
Nothing too difficult, or unpleasant, but an appropriate challenge.

Up and down the tree of my responsibilities, seeing purpose, and meaning.
Looking out to my connections, I felt deep resonance.
Principles and character reflecting back in ways I had forgotten, or maybe never even saw…

Leaves, let go to the wind, don’t just become dirt.
Connection, like meaning runs from the pursuit.
Responsibilities twist, convolve, conflate…
Words. Just words. What do they mean? To you? To me?

Meaning is everywhere.
In every thing.
It’s up to me to open my eyes.
To decide what this means.

Purpose… that’s more clear.
And it’s obvious.
It resonates to every one.

Principles built on a character, developed through discipline.
Sufficiently submissive to competency.
Appropriately reactive, and reflective.

Ends and not just means.
Curious.
Equanimous.

Letting go completely, at this level, I dissolved.
It wasn’t acceptance. That requires holding on, and I didn’t.
I knew where the bread crumbs were, but didn’t care.
They just don’t matter.

Here there was rest.

Then I awoke.

To the web of my purpose.
The principles are just habits now.
Built on a character, set in stone long ago.

But the connections… coming from everywhere and everything all at once…
Were they overwhelming ????
Why should they be ???
They are just meaning.
I choose that.
I choose what I listen to.
One thing.
Some things.
Every thing.

I choose.

I choose what they mean.
If they mean anything at all.
I choose to even decide if they mean anything at all.

That’s me.
Right there.
I choose.

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