It’s over now, but angry words were said. They can’t be taken back. This time was worse. She flat lost it…
“YOU hit me…”
“But it’s not FAIR!!!! YOU …..”
“DAD says LIFE’S not FAIR !”
Both in unison: “DADDY !!'”
Stop it you two. You both know what to do, but let’s take a moment, so we can remember. Go take a breath, and I’ll check in with you in a bit.
Ok. We know how to do this. Let’s call it reconciliation. I’m going to remind you so we all get some practice.
Grace, you did something wrong. When you figure it out, you can come back to the group and apologize to Olivia.
Olivia, you did something wrong. When you figure it out, you can come back to the group and apologize to Grace.
If you want to talk about it one on one, I’m right here, but we aren’t moving on until this is done.
Ok, now that we all know what we did wrong, what can we do so it doesn’t happen again?
What were the warning signs?
Did you feel them in your body?
That feeling is your warning that something is going to happen. Listen to it.
This time was practice. Next time you will be better at it. You two are sisters. That’s permanent, but that means you make it what it will be. I want you to make it something good.
At least that’s how I hope it would go. Sometimes I write to practice.
More on reconciliation later…
Thanks Dr Jordan Peterson for laying out how reconciliation should work in 12 Rules to Live by.