I realized a long time ago that I had a problem. I didn’t have any idea how to have a conversation. Turns out a lot of people don’t. Here’s what I learned.
First: My notes
(raw and edited only for visual flow).
- Be present.
- Don’t pontificate.
- Use open ended questions. Who what where when why how. What was that like? How did that feel?
- Go with the flow. If you think of something let it go.
- If you don’t know, say that you don’t know.
- Don’t equate your experience with their’s. If they’re talking about losing their family member, don’t talk about the time you lost your family member it’s not the same.
- Try not to repeat yourself.
- Stay out of the weeds. Ignore the details. No one cares. They care about you.
- Be brief.
Where I learned this:
What I learned:
This is without a doubt the best explanation I have seen in a long time. Like I said, I have a problem. Hey! At least I’m trying to solve it!
So what gives? In a nut, people have stopped listening. Yeah, yeah, you’re thinking I’ve heard that before. blah blah blah.
See what I mean? But what can we do about it? dunno
Here’s what I’ve been doing:
I made a list of key take aways from that video. I review it often. When I’m upset at myself about how a conversation went I watch the video. Then, I meditate, and remember we all make mistakes, and I cut it loose.
I hope you can do the same. Namaste.
Is that all? Nope. Here’s this for further study. I didn’t find this as useful, but The Book Of Life is Phenomenal:
Thanks to the Tools and Toys Quality Linkage weekly newsletter for sharing this with me in the weekly newsletter. I highly recommend it.
If you are still reading, well, you know that I needed this after my last article about moral equivalency. Don’t worry. I’ve got more JUICY stuff in the works!